An Open Letter to Briana Wu from Gamerbros
The identity Gamerbros has a long-standing tradition in the gaming community. It represents a group of people who will purchase the same Madden game, year after year with the only change being the numbers on the players uniform. A group that would pay 60 dollars to play a simulation of basketball, when they already own a hoop and a ball. Do you know how many beers have been drunk to keep that experience interesting, how much liver damage has been done.
To be a Gamerbro is to steadfastly stick with consoles despite their inferior performance. To stick with titles that have long since grown stale. Gamerbros made Halo, and Call of Duty the multisellers that they are today. Do you know how long we spent playing those games, how many Doritos’ were eaten, how much Mountain Dew was drunk. How many girlfriends sexual needs were clearly ignored.
We do not stand with Total Biscuit. Total Biscuit does not enjoy Call of Duty, he does not play Console games. He stuck with his wife when they were separate by both the law and the ocean. Do you realize how much tail he could have got with his fame? No bro would throw that away.
Total Biscuit runs a podcast with a woman, who is both attractive and does not show cleavage so we have to listen to what she says. He supports a Starcraft team entirely made of players outside of the USA, an insult to Merica. He casually mocks the console market, and discusses issues like the right to free expression on his podcast instead of instead of how to cheese in Destiny.
This man, if we can even call him that, is not and will not ever be a Gamerbro and we all denounce you for identifying him as such. You must learn that the world is a diverse community with many identities with their ideal and behaviors. We are clearly offended by your characterization and demand an apology.
Sincerely the Gamebro community.
